I was speaking with someone in the community recently who asked me to talk about how we bring awareness into our relationships and what that might look like? Well, the truth is, awareness is always here. Most people do not notice what is really occurring at any given moment because there is too much activity going on in their minds. However, when we make a choice to live life in awareness, relationships are definitely one of the best ways we can discover who we are and what triggers us. Relationships also provide us with insight into the old patterns we stay stuck in and more importantly, what keeps us from discovering peace and freedom in our lives.
Life is a mirror; everywhere you look you can see aspects of who you are being reflected back to you. Everything you experience in life, positive or negative is a reflection of yourself. Relationships are a great opportunity to embrace the mirror approach and not hold others accountable for your state of being.
If you think your partner is selfish does that mean you are selfish? Check it out, maybe it does or maybe the mirror is asking you not to be judgemental or to look at some other aspect of yourself.
A big shift can occur in a relationship when you both take responsibility for who you are and then you might discover love grows more deeply. There’s also a point when you agree to tell the truth and own whatever actions or words you have contributed to a situation. You may notice when you do this it diffuses the tension in a relationship. It’s when we don’t own or take responsibility for who we are that it creates suffering.
When one person in the relationship is consciously working through some issue the other partner can simply hold the space with love and kindness and support the other person as they seek to discover what is calling for their attention.
A common situation that occurs in relationships is when one partner is expressing a feeling and wants the other person to fix it. This void I am speaking about can be present for many years and we often go looking for anything and everything to fill it. If you’ve tried this strategy you’ll know it doesn’t work. Sure, it might work for a while, but eventually, the void that wanted your attention will continue to return until you choose to meet it yourself. It will never be filled by any job, person or activity because it’s actually your own heart calling YOU home. So how can anyone or anything else fill it?
When we depend on others for love it is always subject to change and with the changes of a partner coming and going or not showing up the way you want them to you will continue to experience the emptiness,. However, when you discover that love is always here, alive in you and not dependent on anyone or anything then it doesn’t matter what comes and goes. You are free of needing anyone or anything to fix it.
If you’re seeking love, simply begin by giving it to yourself. Discover the ways you can make yourself happy. You can also begin to ask: where does the source of “I am not loveable” or “I am not good enough” arise from? Gangaji, a teacher who travels the world speaking on how to discover the truth of your being has a short video you can view; Check it out, you may discover yourself in what she has to say.
At the end of the day, the answers we are seeking are truly within. We just have to be willing to meet every aspect of ourselves with love.